Before the title, before the uniform, and before I ever called myself a nurse, there was a season filled with doubt, sacrifice, and silent prayers. It was a time when my days were measured by how much I could study, and my nights were often filled with overthinking and uncertainty.
I carried the weight of expectations—not just my own, but from the people who believed in me—and I constantly questioned if I was truly ready for what was ahead
Where It All Began
My nursing journey didn’t begin in the UK. It began back home in the Philippines, with a dream that felt both hopeful and heavy.
I graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Nursing in April 2015, but the real challenge had already started months before that moment. By January 2015, my life had quietly shifted into full review mode as I prepared for the Philippine National Licensure Examination for Nurses.
While others were enjoying the final months of university life, my weekends were spent differently. Review notes, thick textbooks, and endless practice questions surrounded me. It became a routine that required discipline, consistency, and sacrifice, even when I felt mentally and physically drained.
The Weight of Preparation
The routine was exhausting and, at times, overwhelming. There were mornings when I woke up already tired, and nights when my mind felt so full that nothing seemed to stay in no matter how much I studied.
As the exam approached, anxiety slowly crept in. I began to question myself more often than I would like to admit. I wondered if I was doing enough, if I would pass, and if all the years I spent studying would finally be enough.
Even on days when I tried to stay positive, fear often felt louder than confidence. Still, I continued showing up, because stopping was never really an option.
Holding on to Faith
A few weeks before the exam, my classmates and I decided to take a break from reviewing and visit a Mama Mary grotto on the west coast of the city. We didn’t bring any books or notes with us, only our worries and quiet hopes.
We prayed together, not just for success, but for strength, clarity, and peace. In that moment, I realised that we were all carrying the same pressure. This was more than just an exam—it felt like our future depended on it.
During those final weeks, I also attended Sunday Mass regularly with my family. Being with them gave me a sense of comfort that studying alone could not provide. We prayed together, and instead of asking for perfect results, I found myself asking for courage—the courage to face the exam and accept whatever outcome would come.
The Exam, the Waiting, and the Victory
When May 2015 finally arrived, I took the board exam carrying not only what I had studied, but also months of sacrifice, doubt, and prayer.
Finishing the exam did not bring immediate relief. The waiting period that followed felt even more difficult. Each day was filled with uncertainty and endless “what ifs,” and without anything left to prepare for, I was left alone with my thoughts.
When the results were finally released, I searched for my name with a mix of fear and hope.
The moment I saw that I had passed, everything seemed to pause.
Relief washed over me, followed by a deep sense of gratitude that I could hardly put into words.
All I could say was, “Thank God.”
That moment was more than just passing an exam. It marked the beginning of my life as a registered nurse and became my first true victory. It reminded me that even in moments of doubt and exhaustion, it is still possible to move forward and succeed.
A Message for Those Still Preparing
If you are in your review season right now—feeling tired, overwhelmed, or unsure of yourself—please know that what you’re experiencing is part of the journey.
There will be days when you feel prepared, and days when you question everything you’ve studied. There will be moments when fear feels louder than confidence, and times when you wonder if you are truly ready. I had those same thoughts, more often than I expected.
But what I learned is this: you don’t have to feel completely confident to keep going.
You just have to keep showing up.
Progress during this season is not always loud or visible. Sometimes, it looks like reading one more page when you’re exhausted, answering one more question even when you’re unsure, or choosing to continue even when doubt is present.
Give yourself permission to feel tired, but don’t let it stop you. Give yourself grace on the days that feel heavy, and trust that every small effort is building something bigger than you can see right now.
Because one day, the waiting will end.
The results will come.
And when that moment arrives, you will realise that every early morning, every long night, and every quiet prayer brought you closer to where you are meant to be.
And when you finally see your name on that list, you won’t just remember the result—you will remember everything it took to get there.
